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    Somehow I feel like the 90s are back. It might be due to the fact that I keep hearing nirvana and 2pac everywhere I go. Or is it because baggy jeans and leg-warmers are coming back. (or was leg-warmers more 80s? hm… I’m thinking of buffalo shoes combined with leggies,… leg-warmers every decade?!) .. hm..disturbing in a way. anyways.

There is something in the air, and I think it must be some sort of nostalgia. We are growing up, we are becoming adults, people around us seem to become more and more established. Kids, marriage, owning their own appartements…. My impression is, that somewhere along the line, people start to look backwards, instead of forward. Why? Cause the future is SCARY! (as you might have figured by now, this is all a part of my odd new-found exsitential crisis). If something is scary, frightening, uncertain, one tends to look back towards the safe and known. The good old days when your biggest worry was that some guy would find out that you liked him, or what to wear on the class-picture. And for our generation (those of you under 30! ) , I guess this safeness is felt by the sound of nirvana, 2pac and all that comes with..  Ah… the sight of Buffalo shoues! I can just feel the warmth of my youth! OH.. Wait… horrid memories of junior high! argh! The infamous 14 years old! take the bad memories away! far far away! …

We want to stay in our youth, it only normal I guess. Is it because we are afraid? Do we not want to grow up at all? Are we not a strong generation?

Or is it more an urge to bring the best from our past in to our present and future? Isn’t that really what post-modernism is all about? The eclectic fusion vibes of past and future at once?

I must honestly say I don’t know. Sometimes, when I talk to people, it seems as if they are just stuck in the 90’s. With no way out, no emergency exit. And sometimes I guess I wish I could, but then again, with so many things happening  in the 2000ds to come… who would want to miss that!

Therefore, I have decided to embrace my future. Take it in with open arms. That doesn’t mean that I will forget Nirvana, I never will, but it means that I am now ready to face my future head on! I’m not afraid! I’ve shaken of the 90’s… now lets see what lies ahead!

    My first time in Stockholm, it is winter, yet there was no stockholm snow in sight. Wind though, that was plentiful!

I have discoverd my need to find these small spaces/places where I can unwind, find focus, or let go of focus. I like to think of these places as small "paradise pockets". Places that only belongs to you, and no-one else. Even though it might be situated in the middle of a crowded area.

My first little paradise was this heavenly spot, right next to our cabin. Not much was there, a brook, some big rocks to sit on and a couple of birchtrees. Whatever went on in my world (allthough my world was quite small at the time), this place was where I could go and be on my own.. Safe and undisturbed.

Later in my life, I have found more and more of these places. Sometimes they are in a particular chair in a coffehouse, sometimes they will be over a bigger space, for example a certain area, or a block in a city, or in a park etc.. Some places are good to have when one is sad, and wants to be alone. Other places are great if I just want to take a deep breath and disconnect from stress and hassle. Or if it’s just simply a day that is best spent observing other people walking or running by. Each place has its own charm.

Well, in Stockholm I discovered yet another one of these places. And I like to find them when I travel, because then, when I think of a city I have visited, all I have to do is think back to this spot I found, and then I recall the feelings I had at the time being and atmosphere of it all. My new spot: hurry curry in the city of stockholm. Here, I found a space where I could connect images and feelings from my memories of India, with my current life. I guess one can say it brought some pieces of me closer to other pieces of me. It was a good place for disconnecting "real life" for some hours.

 I enjoy these spaces in life. Awerness of them is an important part of being self-reflecting. That is something I want to hold on to.

    sometimes a day is just filled with random sights. I find sometimes the music on my ipod makes it easier or harder to notice the people i pass on my way. But today it must have been music that makes me notice the world, or specific parts of it anyways. (Edith Piaf )

So, this is what I saw today:

A guy standing in the middle of a big empty parkinglot, at 9am in the morning, reading the newspaper… Right in the middle! And it was cold outside… anyways… random

 Then, this guy at the food store, an old man in his 70s, he bought dishwashing soap, wc cleaner, and then ONE 0.33 beer. Random buy….

Edit Piaf sure gives a different view on an old route from house to school. Much needed these days 

How is it possible then,.. to have this great life, know all these amazing people, have the opportunity to do all these things I do, see all these places I’ve seen, … how is it possible to do this, and being so busy living your life, that somehow, one ends up losing oneself in the process?

Things are rushing passed me at high speeds, still, I am not quite sure I am following. Maybe I will catch up with myself again? Somewhere down along the road……. 

    Det snør, det snør, tiddeliBOM

Det er det det gjør, tiddeligKABOM

Nå snør det mye mer enn før

Tiddeli KABOM

Og huttehuttehutetu så kaldt det er!

Minus 5 grader, det er kaldt det!  

    So, I had my first french grammar class today… My conclusion is that this will drive me into severe coffee addiction. Why? How is it POSSIBLE to talk THAT SLOW? As if grammar wasn’t dry enough as it is, someone has to make it even dryer. "You are feeling sleeeepy,… you are feeling sleeeepy…… syntax grammar verb morfology……zzzzzzz

I suspect however that my professor made a halfway attempt to spike it up by wearing a flashy leopard-patterend top that kept me half awake with distubance.

Two lectures a week, four more months. Someone might get hurt, I hope it is not me.